NHS Networks write to Obama

Just seen a copy of a letter from NHS Networks to Barack Obama with the subhead "Don’t attack the NHS – that’s our job"



Here it is:



* * * An open letter to the President of the United States from NHS Networks * * *



Dear Mr Obama,



On behalf of the NHS may we thank you and the American people for the debate you have started about the relative merits of the health systems on either side of the Atlantic?



Thank you, in particular, for dislodging swine flu from the top of the news agenda for a few days. Frankly it has been boring most of us to tears for weeks.



In Britain, we have a silly season every August during which journalists are obliged to scrape the barrel for stories. Thanks to your rather vague policy announcement and the furore it has caused, they will be spared the trouble.



You will have noticed tempers running high on all sides of this debate. That is because there is nothing that excites the public quite as much as the issue of health. People care about the economy, the environment and foreign affairs, but if it’s sheer passion you’re after, you can’t beat a story about a postcode lottery for cancer drugs, patients doing DIY dental work with a pair of Mole-grips or the closure of a cottage hospital.



No doubt you were surprised or even shocked at the reaction of your fellow Americans and their quaint misconceptions about the NHS. That most moderate and sensible of politicians, Sarah Palin, decried the NHS model as ‘downright evil’. The BBC reported on a town hall meeting in Maryland where some people bore placards depicting you with a toothbrush moustache of the kind favoured by the mid 20th century health reformer Adolf Hitler.



One man pointed out that the Nazis had started in a similar fashion, and that their agenda soon moved from health reforms to the annexation of Poland and the invasion of Europe. While we doubt this is your direction of travel it’s only fair to mention that it didn’t turn out to be a vote winner for the Third Reich.



May we particularly congratulate the Investors Business Daily which made the bizarre claim that ‘people such as scientist Stephen Hawking wouldn’t have a chance in the UK, where the National Health Service would say the life of this brilliant man, because of his physical handicaps, is essentially worthless’ -- a claim only undermined by the facts that Professor Hawking is a) British and b) alive.



The point is that if you want to whip up the British public into a state of concentrated outrage, you can’t do better than to attack one of our national treasures. And if you really want to make them mad, pick on one in a wheelchair.



Similarly, nothing could be calculated to rally support behind the NHS like an attack by a bunch of ill-informed foreigners. Americans are making a big mistake if they think that we allow just anyone to criticise the NHS. That’s a right we reserve for ourselves and frankly, Mr President, we get pretty peeved when anyone tries to take it away from us.



Politicians of all hues would also like to express their gratitude to the American people for giving them the opportunity to make heartfelt political capital from the situation. Our prime minister, his wife, the leader of the opposition, the health secretary and his Tory shadow have all posted robust messages support for the NHS on Twitter. There is palpable relief that the media spotlight has swung away from expenses scandals and the dire state of the public finances. So, thanks again.



The US health budget is $2.5 trillion – which if you are not familiar with really big numbers is 2,500 billion. Analyse the figures and you will see that the per capita cost of healthcare in the US is roughly twice that of the UK. It may rise a bit higher if you exclude the millions of Americans without health insurance. You may also be aware that in a report from the World Health Organisation about preventable deaths from health interventions the US came twentieth in a league table of 20 countries.



We can see therefore why you might feel that it’s worth making a few changes. Good luck with that.



Meanwhile, please feel free to encourage Americans to continue to make invidious and inaccurate comparisons between your system and the NHS. It’s having a tremendously positive effect on our morale.



Yours faithfully



The National Health Service*



* For readers suffering for conditions affecting the sense of humour, we should point out that this letter is not officially endorsed by the staff or leadership of the NHS.
Abnormal, uncontrolled cell division resulting in a malignant tumour that may invade surrounding tissues or spread to distant parts of the body. Full medical glossary
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